God sends messages.....

I testify that god answers prayers and questions if you only ask....

Last night, after I wrote my last blog post. I just KNEW that my mind would be changed.

I sincerely prayed last night, on my knees for about 10-15 minutes. I poured my heart (and teary eyes) out. I asked for forgiveness, I asked for wisdom, I asked for the desire for wisdom, I asked for a softened heart....for answers. I opened my scriptures...started to read and then went back to the book "Teachings of the Presidents of the Church (Joseph Smith)".

So many things about this book have really touched me. It may be that it is because I love memoirs and can really get into it, it may be that I am finally seeing truth where once I didn't.

The other night, I was reading Joseph Smiths letters to his dear wife Emma while imprisoned.

They were so loving and thoughtful. He mentioned his children so often and how he wished Emma to treat them. So tender were his words and desires for his little ones. It really hit me and I have been hooked since.

Back to last night. I found the page that listed the "Articles of Faith" and I read each one and asked myself .."do I believe this"?

I found that yes, I do believe 10 of them and question the other 3. Not bad. I found an article of faith that I have a deeper love and understanding for.

" We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow men the same privilege, let them worship, HOW, WHERE, or WHAT they may."

Wow....just WOW. Then I went on to read about Relief Society and friendships in our church.

Although I am a lot more guarded now than I have ever been, I see the purpose in being social in the church and that it is OK to come for the social. Joseph Smith had amazing friendships and stressed that this was something special about our church. Our friendships. We see each other as brothers and sisters on this earth but a small amount of time, and yet, we have the knowledge that these friendships will continue on past this lifetime.

So, after reading about this....wouldn't you know it, in Sunday school, this was the topic. Friendship, forgiveness if friends hurt or offend you etc. I was speechless, well, for a little bit.

I had to pipe up and share my experience, that I had just studied this same topic the night before. I shared some quotes that Joseph shared and this is the one that I loved the most.

"Do not injure the character of anyone. If members of the Society shall conduct themselves improperly, deal with them and keep all your doings within your own bosoms, and hold all characters sacred."

This has become a lengthy post....

To sum it up, my heart was softened, not completely, it will take some more work. I have prayed for understanding, forgiveness for myself and to help me forgive another. I did take the sacrament today, but excused myself and did so in private. I didn't want to be distracted by kids or any other thoughts and feelings other than the pure sweet spirit I was feeling....