Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Gerson Therapy

I am putting all my faith into the Gerson Therapy. I have watched the documentary "The Beautiful Truth" a few times now and I believe it works. We are spending the night at "other mother's" tonight and I made her watch it with me. We even found out that they have a special treatment facility in Mexico that she can go to for an intensive 3 weeks. Bonus? That I get to go with her at no extra cost. We were pumped up tonight making grocery lists and plans for the future, until I read an article that says that this diet has never been successful in Leukemia patients. I was so devastated that I didn't share this with her.

Talking with Shane tonight, I realized that this is what I do....I put off the reality of what is happening until it smacks me right in the face. I did this when my mom got sick. I denied until she was actually gone and even then....I held on to the dream that she would die and then come back to life. I even read every book imaginable on the subject. I was SURE that heavenly father would never take away the one person that I loved more than anything in the world. He would never take away a young mother of 5 children. happened and my earth shattered and I shut down. I am doing that now. I don't want to talk about it, think about it...etc. The possibility of her dying isn't something I think about. Do I need to? I don't know. I don't know how to.
All I know is that....every thing that I regret I never did, said, showed my mother I will do with Sandra. Every hug, smile, laugh and memory, I will savor. This is going to be extremely hard for all of us. She will begin treatment at the same facility my mother did. The same place my mother died. I know this will bring about an insane amount of emotion and pain, but he has a "plan" right? I have to know he does and.....he does. No matter how much I fight it....he does.
It's taking everything I have in me right now to not run upstairs and get into bed with her right now and cry (and I have lots of times in the past). I hate having to be strong.

Friday, March 25, 2011

My "other mother"

My "other mother", Grandma Sandra, was just diagnosed with leukemia for the second time.
The first time was 5 years or so ago and she made it out alive. This time....their prognosis is 3-6 months without treatment. She is still deciding what she wants to do. She could get a bone marrow transplant, but I don't know if she wants to fight anymore. All I know is that this spirit of mine just can't handle so much pain. She starts her treatments next week at the same hospital my mother did. My mother didn't make it out alive. I pray that Sandra does.
So if I seem detached, rude, sleepy, lost etc. you know why......

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Mae is a pretty imaginative little girl. If I don't write/type these things then I may just forget!

-"Lasterday" is "Yesterday", as in "Lasterday, I went swimming". Love it.
-Her favorite sayings-
"Nice and cruncious"... "Hellooo Gorgeous". She likes to say these things repeatedly and then giggles like crazy.
-She gets VERY upset if her brothers don't kiss AND hug her at least three times a day.
-She HAS to say the prayer at every mealtime. No one else is allowed.

-Sleeping Beauty has replaced Snow White and she's quick to tell you that Maleficent (the evil witch) cusses during the film. ("from the depths of hell")
she talks about "The Sleeping Death"....all the time and likes to pretend she is in this state and waits until one of us kisses her so she can awake.

Mae sings .....all the time.

Mae is obsessed with ballet. Talks about it all the time.

Books are her favorite thing. She can sit on the couch forever and just look at books and make up her own stories.

She is the most loving, thoughtful girl. Lasterday, she kept trekking back and forth from the bottom of our steep driveway, up to the house to bring me daffodils. One at a time. (I have 12 in the vase)

My favorite thing is when she grabs my face and says "i just love you so much".
She has to show everyone in the family when she looks cute.
These are just some of the many many "Malanisms" that we enjoy.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Play Doh

Nothing like creative play to get that imagination going. I love Mae's imagination.
She can talk and talk and TALK about everything under the sun.
Today we made play doh and she played while I got caught up on the housework.

This girl loves to cook. Anytime I am in the kitchen, she's got to be right by my side. Rylan too, but he wont let me snap photos of him so readily.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Missy Mae and our family life VLOG...

and NO....I do NOT approve of the song she loves.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Baseball season 2011's begun! We had a game on Saturday and our team lost. Strike that....we were massacred by the Cardinals. Big surprise there. All the good players are on that team. Well....except Brennan. Wink Wink. That's alright. This is how our team goes. We are always the underdogs in the beginning and then at the end....we end up in the finals.
Rylan is a Cubbie this year as well, with big daddy coaching. We are excited because this means Rylan gets to hit a ball that has been thrown...not from a tee.
Ps- I got to see sweet little Hope. Look at her! 6 weeks and quite the little chubby bubby. Swoon.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Happy Birthday Myron!

This year for Myrons birthday.....he wanted weapons. Yup....weapons. Not to hurt anyone...but to play in our forest and build more forts. Honestly...this kid and his forts. I just love them. He could hardly sleep last night, he was so excited to get outside. What did he want? A machete, a new hatchet, sharpener, bb's, hand shovel, compass, scope for his bb gun...oh...and a lego set.
The CABIN lego set. Too cute. We'd better not make him made...just sayin.
Happy Birthday to my sweet 14 year old. What? 14? How in the world did that even happen?
I am not prepared for him getting any older. He is still my sweet, funny (seriously...hilarious), compassionate, thoughtful boy. I hope that never changes. We had him open his presents last night because tonight is C-R-A-Z-Y. Today I have been busy baking him (from scratch) a German Chocolate cake from the Joy of Cooking cookbook. 25 million steps later, and we'll see what comes out. He also wants chicken pot pie. This is my childrens favorite dish and I roll my eyes every time they request it. Why? Because I happen to suck at making pie crust. I mean....I am really really really awful at it. It is such a chore that I usually just buy premade crusts, but nope, for his birthday....he wants the real deal. close to the real deal as I can get it.
See ya!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Mindy Gledhill- House Concert

One of my favorite performers has offered to do a house concert while she tours in this area.
I am going to try my hardest to get her to play on our little Island.
Enjoy the music video below.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Back on the hamster wheel again.
We spent the night at a great hotel in Seattle. Vintage Park Hotel.
It was soo nice. We got in last night at 11pm, took a taxi to the hotel and then stayed up.
What? you say? Yup...we Butlers like to get our moneys worth.
The challenge was finding some place open at that time to get something to eat.
We ended up getting pizza delivery at 1:30am. we checked out at noon and walked 6 blocks down to the ferry with ALL our luggage. It was slightly raining and the kids whined the entire way.
Spoiled little Cali kids. So used to driving everywhere in beautiful weather.
I was a little more than irritated with their intolerance.
We made it home and my good friend Erika picked us up at the ferry.
It was so nice to see her. It feels like we have been gone a lot longer than 2 1/2 weeks!
Brennan started baseball today, the kids have homework, tomorrow I have parent/teacher conferences and yaddi yaddi yadda. Right?
No sympathy. Ciao!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Corona del Mar- Last day of vacation

Aunt Pammy above. Our last day of relaxation before we hop on the train tomorrow to return home. We headed to the beach. Corona del Mar is next to Newport beach where we spent another day a little while back. It was gorgeous outside.
Brennan and cousin Hunter.
The houses were huge!

I was very pleased with my little camera today. I was able to get some amazing shots.

Nathan, Uncle Sasha and I went for a little hike into the jagged rocks just up from the beach. I snapped over 100 photos. It was so beautiful.
Mae, Hailey and Hannah.
Just before we were about to leave, I spotted what I thought was a shark! It turned out to be a dolphin swimming very close to shore. Every time I took out my camera...they would disappear, but I was able to catch them for a little bit on video. It was very exciting. There were hundreds of pelicans diving down to catch fish. The dolphins would drive the fish close to shore and the pelicans would all assemble together to catch the fish. It was an amazing sight.
I came home today pretty dehydrated and not looking forward to packing everything up to leave tomorrow. I may just hit the hay early and get up early and finish it all. Tomorrow we board the train to come home. It has been a terrific adventure.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Olivers!

It was a beautiful hour and a half drive to Ojai, California where our close friends, the Olivers are now living. We were so excited to see them. I can't believe it's been nearly two years since the last time. We decided to make this a yearly tradition and I am already counting down the days until we see them again. I am hoping that Sam gets into the UW so that I can at least see him more often.
The kids had such a great time in their jacuzzi. Only a couple of them ventured into the cccold pool.
Mae and Emma hit it off right away.
Nathan and Nathan of course picked up right where they left off....playing music together. They sound so great. It's too bad we don't live closer.
Charles offered to take professional shots of the kids for free. How do you turn down a movie director?? I can't wait to see how they turned out.
Their home is amazing. As soon as I walked in, I knew this was where they should be. We went by their last home they lived in, in the area, and it just wasn't them. I am glad they are where they are. It's so beautiful. Ranch style, all dark wood floors and beautiful grounds. Sam and I were able to take a long walk in the area and just talk. We have always had a close relationship and I am so glad that we were able to spend that time together. He is a great kid. In a week he will be 18! I can't believe it!
My little Collin. He was in my primary class and we became close as well. He didn't let me kiss him in front of his friends when Elisa and I picked him up, but when we left, his cheeks were all mine, just like they used to be when he was little. Aww. He is still the sweetest little guy.

Elisa made homemade pizza for the kids and then the adults left to go out to dinner. I really wanted some sushi and Charles obliged.

We headed to a local favorite sushi hangout. It was great. Elisa and I both ordered "Temptation". Just ordering it made me blush. I'd never tasted sushi like that. It was great. Sam and his girlfriend joined us and we had a lot of fun getting to know her.
So happy to put my arms around this dear friend.
We had a great time and hated to leave, but had to get back to get the kids in bed. I, of course, cried as we left. I am a big baby.
Until next year dear friends. Tomorrow is our last fun day here in sunny California and it will be very hard to say goodbye.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Los Angeles Zoo

We went to the Zoo today with the grandparents and cousins. The Zoo was a LOT smaller than ours with not as many animals, but the animals they did have were a lot closer than any other zoo I have been to. The weather was 88 degrees. HOT and wonderful.

The giraffes were by far our favorite attraction. They came as close as 3 feet from us.

Again....the animals were so close and most were out and active, which is unusual for the zoos I have frequented.
Brennan and Myron are to the left of the hippo.
Snow Leopard below. Very creepy the way he was eyeing us.

I am going to have a hard time leaving this beautiful weather. Tonight, I sat by the pool and uploaded the from today. I could get used to this life.