Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Doing the Right Thing at the Right Time...

Something special happened to me today, that I feel impressed to share on this blog.
Many of you have been with me as I have struggled with my beliefs in the LDS gospel.
It has been a long 8 months since I have "left" the church. Truth be told, I have not left, I have taken a sabbatical. I wanted to see what life was truly like without the gospel.
It hasn't been bad, just different. I have had to strip my soul/spirit down to near nakedness to find out what I really believe in this life. What I think my lifes purpose is..etc.
I have found a great many truths in and outside of our church. Where does that leave me?
Not far from where I started to be honest.
Let's go back to the something special that happened. Last night I was lying in bed re reading some of last Octobers general conference messages. I came across Jose Alonso's talk about Doing the Right Thing at the Right Time.

Here is an excerpt-

Brothers and sisters, there may be many who, for some reason, are lost from our sight and who do not know that they are lost. If we delay, we could lose them forever.

For many who have need of our help, it is not necessary to create new programs or take actions which are complicated or costly. They only need our determination to serve—to do the right thing at the right time, without delay.

When the Savior appeared to the people of the Book of Mormon, He gave us a great example about not waiting to administer relief to those who have lost a sense of happiness and joy. Having taught the people, He saw that they were unable to understand all His words. He invited them to go to their homes and ponder the things that He had said to them. He told them to pray to the Father and prepare themselves to come again on the morrow, when He would return to teach them.3

As He concluded, He looked upon the multitude and saw them weeping, for they longed for Him to stay with them.

“And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you.

“Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.”4

And they brought their sick to Him, and He healed them. The multitude bowed down at His feet and worshipped Him and kissed His feet, “insomuch that they did bathe his feet with their tears.” Then He commanded them that their little children should be brought, and He blessed them one by one.5 That is the model the Savior has given us. His love is for all, but He never loses sight of the one.

I know that our Heavenly Father is loving, understanding, and patient. His Son, Jesus Christ, likewise loves us. They render help to us through Their prophets. I have learned that there is great safety in following the prophets. “The rescue” is still going on. President Monson said: “The Lord expects our thinking. He expects our action. He expects our labors. He expects our testimonies. He expects our devotion.”6

We have a responsibility and a great opportunity. There are many who need to once again experience the sweet savor of happiness and joy through activity in the Church. That happiness comes from receiving the ordinances, making sacred covenants, and keeping them. The Lord needs us to help them. Let us do the right thing at the right time, without delay.

I testify that God lives and is our Father. Jesus Christ lives and has given His life so that we may return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. I know that He is our Savior. I know that Their infinite kindness is continually made manifest. I bear witness that President Thomas S. Monson is Their prophet and that this is the only true Church upon the face of the earth. I know that the Prophet Joseph Smith is the prophet of the Restoration. I testify that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. It gives us guidance and models to follow in order to become more like God and His Beloved Son. I so declare in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

After reading that talk, I felt sorry for myself. I cried big ole crocodile tears. If the members of our church really listened to to this message, why weren't they calling me? Didn't they see that I needed someone to reach out? I can count on my hand the number of people that reached out to me, asked me to go on a walk, talk, anything. I started doubting again. Should I go back? Will everyone be weird to me? Will they look down at me? Will my children be accepted? Because of our lack of church involvement, my kids have had some unkind things said to them from kids in the church. How do I deal with all that?
So...I prayed, and prayed and prayed. On my knees..and then I slept. While I slept I dreamed the sweetest dream. I will not share that dream, but, today I received a phone call from an older woman in our ward. Someone that has known me since I was 12. She said she felt prompted to call me. Said she missed me and my boisterous spirit and wanted to know if I was okay. Really okay... I was dumbstruck.
Prayers are heard ladies and gentlemen. I promised to attend church on Sunday.
This is where I will start. Little by little.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Apples to Apples

Today we ventured into Seattle with my good friend Elise. Our Macbooks happened to go out within two weeks of each other, so we made our apt. together. Unfortunately, ours is not an easy fix and mine needs to be overhauled. I can pick it up next week when we go into the Orthodontists. Mae had such a great time at the Apple store as you can see above. It was like Disneyland and she can't wait to go back with us next week.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

little sister....

My "little" ...taller than me sister came into town for a quick visit. She is 22 and as fun and beautiful as ever. I crossed over to Seattle to take her up to Capitol Hill for a night. We went to the Unicorn. It was such an amazing club. Reds and turquoises with a circus theme, not unlike my store. We laughed, we cried, we had an amazing time. I love my sisters.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

happy sweet 16 Nathan

Damn Utah scrapbooking for convincing me to cut my photos. Acid free...pshh. The above photo is obviously damaged. Ugh. Happy Birthday to my sweet Nathan. My whole life, all I ever wanted to be was a mommy. He made this dream come true and what a gift to our lives he is.
Teenagers aint easy.....but I hear it's worth it in the end. Wink. He's definitely giving us a run for our money, but, that same fire, energy, creativity and passion I see in him, i see in myself too. For that I am truly thankful for him.

He could be the next Justin Bieber if he plays his cards right. I could be a lil biased, but he is one talented kid.
Happy Birthday again to my sweet 16......

Thursday, February 9, 2012

YACHT at The Crocodile

Last night, my friend, (an ER doctor) asked me to join her to see an amazing band(s) play at the Crocodile in Seattle. I note that she is an Er doctor because she was running on 2 hours of sleep and had to be to the hospital by 7 in the morning......AND she STILL had enough energy to dance her little arse off. I had 10 minutes to get ready before she picked me up. It was an amazing concert. The lead singer reminds me of Annie Lennox. We were RIGHT in the front and even got to meet the bands. So fun.
The last song " Shangri-La" was the encore song. The energy in that room was incredible. The way the lead singer moves is ballet/yoga like. They are from Portland but, are living in La now. I just know they are going to get BIG.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

This year has already started off with a BANG!! Lots of "firsts." I was asked to read my poetry at open mic at The Harbor House last night. Although I have written poetry since Iwas knee high, I had never been to an open mic event before. I was nervous and all shaky but, it went well and a lot of people came out to support me. Next month I will slow it down a bit. I was in a rush to just get through it. It was invigorating and of how very much I love writing poetry.